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fruitcrocs:

when a teacher asks you if you understand the work and you don’t 

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*gets 0 on the test*

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(Source: fruitcrocs)

If My Dog Could Talk

  • Dog: WAT DOING
  • Me: Nothing. I just stood up.
  • Dog: WHERE GO
  • Me: I'm literally walking 3 feet away. I'm not even leaving the room.
  • Dog: CAN I COME
  • Me: I mean sure but I'm literally just-
  • Dog: I COME TOO
  • Dog: WAT DOING
  • Me: I need to open this door.
  • Dog: I HALP
  • Me: No but you're in front of the door. Move please.
  • Dog: I HALP
  • Me: Sigh.
  • Dog: WHERE GOING
  • Me: I am going right back to the exact place I was sitting a second ago.
  • Dog: CAN I COME
  • Me: Sure.
  • Dog: I SIT IN LAP
  • Me: No please don't you are-
  • Dog: I SIT IN LAP
  • Me: No there's no room and-
  • Dog: LAP
  • Me: No, sit on the floor and I'll pet you.
  • Dog: RIGHT HERE
  • Me: That's literally on top of my leg.
  • Dog: IT'S PERFECT PET ME
  • Me: I am petting you. One second, let me just grab my glass-
  • Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
  • Me: I literally am petting you, I just needed a drink-
  • Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
  • Me: I AM
  • Dog: I SIT IN LAP
  • Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME
  • Dog: HOLD SLOBBER TOY
  • Dog: SNEEZE IN UR FACE
  • Me: .......

Over the past year, my sexual fetishes have been slowly getting more perverse; But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I'd hit rock bottom.

Anonymous

swinging-onthe-spiral:

iguanamouth:

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I’VE SEEN THIS POST FOR THE PAST TWO DAYS AND JUST NOW GOT THE JOKE.

MOTHER FU-

hospital-forr-souls:

when i listen to bassnectar and jansten.

hospital-forr-souls:

when i listen to bassnectar and jansten.

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(Source: hobolunchbox)

(Source: italdred)